The New Testament Church – Marriage Relations

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The NT Church, Marriage Relations

Feb 5, 2019 – by Ronel Wilson


Happy are we, His people, to be counted worthy, as it is today, to be in the second harvest, to be called His Bride as we face the many challenges and troubles which refines and purifies us to His Glory. We get to know God, the Father and Christ whom He is sending, and we know, that is, age-abiding life [Joh 17:1], and we are known by THEM through the marriage process in our Day of the Lord.

1Co 8:3  But if any man love God, the same is known of him. 

 1Co 13:12  For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 

Marriage and what it entails is the MO of God, the Father, through Christ and His Christ [the second harvest in every generation since Christ] and ultimately also all humanity [the third harvest]. In a physical marriage when we marry, we, get to know our husbands and we are known by them as is the case between Christ and His Bride. What God has joined physically serves as type and shadow of the spiritual. Christ and His Bride go through a process, so they may render to each other.

1Co 7:3  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 

1Co 7:4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 

1Co 7:5  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 

1Co 7:6  But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 

 This study came about because a question was asked about a godly wife who desires her unbelieving husband to become one with her in the marriage bed more often, as she feels forsaken and neglected and does not know the reason why her husband has little or no desire towards her. There are both realities, physical and spiritual.

Rom 1:20  For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: 

 Worldly wisdom discuss all kinds of reasons why there are mismatched desires or impotency in physical marriages. Speaking spiritually, mismatched desires is the same as being unequally yoked with and unbeliever and impotency, spiritually speaking, is being without power, in other words, without Christ, having a form of godliness but without power [2 Ti 3:5].

It is not in the scope of this study to discuss these physical issues but rather to focus on the mind of Christ of what to do in a situation like this. There is much hope and comfort for the godly wife of such an unbelieving man, and we look upon those Scriptures at the end of the study.

Psa 42:11  Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God. 

However, what are we to do in a situation like this, being a godly wife having an unbelieving husband, with little or no desire towards us for no apparent reason. We have hope in Christ to help us and not leaning on worldly wisdom. If, we try to reason this out, we get entangled into the affairs of the world [spiritually speaking, a carnal mindset].

2Ti 2:3  Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 

2Ti 2:4  No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier. 

Where our conscience excuses or accuse us, going around in circles, never coming to the truth. We do not accuse ourselves but rest in Christ [Heb 4:4].

Rom 2:14  For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: 

Rom 2:15  Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another;) 

Rom 2:16  In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel. 

 So then, if no reason is given for this situation, we ask of God, through Christ.

Psa 119:170  Let my supplication come before thee: deliver me according to thy word. 

 Php 4:6  Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 

 There is nothing in the dark that is not coming to the Light in our Day of Judgement, remember we are being made righteous with Christ’s righteousness and are being judged today.

1Th 4:11  And that ye study to be quiet[have the mind of Christ], and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands[faith in Christ], as we commanded you; 

1Th 4:12  That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing[waiting on the Lord]


Jas 1:4  But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. 

 We examine ourselves whilst waiting on the Lord to the end that we may have boldness in this day, our consciences clear.

1Ti 1:4  Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which minister questions, rather than godly edifying which is in faith: so do. 

1Ti 1:5  Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned: 

 If the Lord reveals to us what the reason is for our troubles and we need to overcome, we tarry until He comes.

Heb 10:35  Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. 

Heb 10:36  For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. 

Heb 10:37  For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. 


Comfort and Hope of the Scriptures when we are weary with troubles

 A]  Col 1:18  And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence. 

 We can run to the world, but we are not able to eat of two tables. We are not able to be in His rest and reasoning our way out of any situation, having our own righteousness or the righteousness of the law. Lord, please help our unbelief [Mark 9:24] in our troubles.

B]  1Ti 4:4  For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving

1Ti 4:5  For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.

 Light comes out of darkness. Our trials are wearisome and grievous but, in the end, it produces the peaceable fruit of Christ’s righteousness in our lives.

C] Rom 9:28  For he will finish the work, and cut it short in righteousness: because a short work will the Lord make upon the earth. 

Truth and grace will come.

 D]  1Co 10:31  Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 

 When we suffer for doing good, it finds favor with God. Even the world suffers when they do evil, but if we suffer because of Christ, this finds favor with God [1 Pe 3:17]. We fill up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ [Col 1:24].

 E]  1Co 6:18  Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 

 We pierce ourselves with many arrows believing lies and fornicating with Jezebel, our father, the devil’s wife. Learning to not judge before the time, but wait upon the Lord [Truth] to come set us free from our carnal mindsets and ways in all matters.

F]  Rom 12:10  Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; 

 Preferring one to another, counts for all, because there is One Lawgiver who rules over the dead and the Living [Jas 4:12].

G]  Php 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 

Whilst waiting on the Lord, we set our hearts and minds upon treasures above, not going beyond what is written, helps us when we suffer long.

H]  Eph 5:33  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. 

 As godly wives we give honour to our Husband and husbands even the unbelieving, knowing that we were bought with a price and that we have a very high calling to do what is right.

I] 1Th 4:3  For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

Waiting upon the Lord, making our requests known in pressing matters, is how we flee evil.

J] 1Pe 4:13  But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. 

 Even in our troubles, we have the Light of Christ’s presence, let us be glad and rejoice in it. He will not leave or forsake us. It is the will of God not only to believe on Him but to also suffer for His Name sake. Today is the Day of our visitation.

K] 1Jn 3:21  Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. 

1Jn 3:22  And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. 

 Knowing that we are doing all to stand, is giving us confidence and nothing in the dark will not come to the Light as Christ promises. All the creeping things are and will be rooted out. It is our Day of Judgement. Little sins besetting us.

L] Gal 6:2  Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. 

 We have an inheritance in Christ and in His saints. Truly, Truth and grace are our companions that are saving us [John 1:17]. Let us not become bitter.

M] Heb 12:14  Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: 

Heb 12:15  Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; 

Let us receive a full reward, because our Hope is in Him. The greatest treasure for us, is the fear of the Lord, in all our trials. Here is how we should behave.

N] 1Pe 3:1  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 

1Pe 3:2  While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 

1Pe 3:3  Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 

1Pe 3:4  But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 

1Pe 3:5  For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 

The husband is the head of the wife as is Christ is Head over us. Let us, as godly wives, render what is due to them [even for now as in the situation discussed between the godly wife with an unbelieving husband, if it is just respect, then respect etc.] and plead Christ to remove anything that offends as we suffer, dying daily, trusting Him to make straight what is crooked [Ecc 7:13]. Nothing changes unless we change.

A Few thoughts on Seasons in the Marriage

There is a time for everything under the sun [Ecc 3:1].

There is a time when we are strangers to Christ. Alive but dead while we live. Death reigning over us, without the law.

Rom 5:12  Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: 

Rom 5:13  (For until the law sin was in the world: but sin is not imputed when there is no law. 

Rom 5:14  Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not sinned after the similitude of Adam’s transgression, who is the figure of him that was to come. 

 There is a time when we are engaged to Christ, that what we have heard from the beginning.

2Co 11:2  For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. 

2Co 11:3  But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. 

 There is a time when Christ marries us, giving us the gift of faith.

Act 2:1  And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. 

Act 2:2  And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. 

Act 2:3  And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. 


Isa 62:4  Thou shalt no more be termed Forsaken; neither shall thy land any more be termed Desolate: but thou shalt be called Hephzibah, and thy land Beulah: for the LORD delighteth in thee, and thy land shall be married. 

Isa 62:5  For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee. 

There is a time when we go astray, leaving Christ

Rev 2:4  Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love. 

Isa 3:8  For Jerusalem is ruined, and Judah is fallen: because their tongue and their doings are against the LORD, to provoke the eyes of his glory. 

There is a time when Christ puts us away, divorce us, giving us over to the destruction of our flesh, so our spirits may be saved in the day of the Lord.

Jer 3:8  And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. 


1Co 5:4  In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

1Co 5:5  To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. 

 There is a time when Christ comes again [Heb 9:28].

1Th 1:10  And to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, even Jesus, which delivered us from the wrath to come. 

There is a time when we do not come together. Praying and fasting, lifting up holy hands [1 Tim 2:8], putting away the finger [Isa 58:9], doing what is right in His sight.

1Co 7:5  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 

There is a time when Christ rests in us, for until then, the Father and Christ works [John 5:17].

Heb 4:9  There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. 

Heb 4:10  For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. 


2Ch 6:41  Now therefore arise, O LORD God, into thy resting place, thou, and the ark of thy strength: let thy priests, O LORD God, be clothed with salvation, and let thy saints rejoice in goodness. 

There is a time when Christ desires us and we are being made ready.

Son 7:10  I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me. 

 Rev 19:7  Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. 

There is a time when we desire Christ [Truth], but we have to tarry.

Luk 24:49  And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high. 


Hag 2:6  For thus saith the LORD of hosts; Yet once, it is a little while, and I will shake the heavens, and the earth, and the sea, and the dry land; 

Hag 2:7  And I will shake all nations, and the desire of all nations shall come: and I will fill this house with glory, saith the LORD of hosts.